Saturday Easter Vigil.
Just came back from my baptism not too long ago. The rest of the RCIY are probably still out celebrating at FX’s house now. One year has passed since we entered the RCIY as inquirers and about a year and a half since I first got the desire to want to know more about the Catholic faith.
I don’t remember ever blogging about how I came into join the Catholic faith but I do tell the people who ask me about it, the same thing. About a year and a half ago, I woke up deciding I wanted to know more about Catholicism. I didn’t know much about it and neither did I know many people from the Catholic Church. To me, Catholicism was just something very foreign. I grew up in a Methodist environment for about 13 years, since nursery when I was put into Covenant Kindergarten down at Paya Lebar Methodist Church, and later moved into the PL Methodist Girls’ School, where I studied for 10 years. Despite the constant evangelizing of the faith in school, I never really felt close to God. Well, I did believe that there was a God and I believed in Jesus Christ and I really wanted to attend church too. I made an effort once or twice, but always failed to maintain this motivation. The interest always died out after two to three weeks. I also got very uncomfortable talking about religion and about God, and would tend to move away whenever someone comes up with the topic. Two years ago, I think I did try to go to church once, but still lost the motivation after 2 weeks.
About a year and a half ago, when I decided to give Catholicism a try, I went down alone to the church of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary a couple of times for mass, before settling at IHM church which was nearer to my home. I still remember the first time I went for mass at IHM. I had never been associated with the Catholic faith and I knew absolutely nothing about mass. Mass to me was a whole new foreign thing. Nothing made sense. The congregation knelt, I knelt. The congregation sang, I tried singing too. At the end of Mass, I remember walking around the church looking confused and I bumped into Father Jo. (I didn’t know he was a priest at that time. Neither did I know his name was Joseph =p) I remember chatting with him for a while before asking him if there was anyone I could contact if I wanted to know more about the faith. I remember he gave me Kevin’s number and I messaged him. During that period of time, I think my parents didn’t bother much, because they know me all too well. I would give up after 2 weeks. Kevin invited me over for Christmas mass during Christmas Eve (of course!) and he explained to me some of the significance of some of the rituals done in Mass, like why do Catholics genuflect when they enter church. I was told that they genuflected to the body of Christ, which made no sense to me at all at that time.
One of my aunts said this was indeed a true calling from God, but I wonder if there's such thing as a fake calling from God into church. Hmm...
Anyway, after a while, RCIY started and I got to know the people there. The funny thing which happened was the person who called me to get information for the RCIY was Juliet. Juliet who happens to be in the same school, same faculty, same year, same department, same module, same tutorial, became my sponsor later on.
Journeying in RCIY changed me a little, I think. Well, firstly, of course, I knew more about the faith. Secondly, some people who know me, know that I’m a loner. Kinda. I prefer to do things myself, on my own. I love to have my own quiet time, to do my stuff, which probably explains why I refused to join the Protestants for so long in my youth. I never liked the community spirit and the interaction among people.
Yet for some strange reason, I managed to stick on to RCIY for so long. Yeah sure, there were times when I felt lazy, or was simply too busy doing my own stuff that I neglected church. Yet all in all, I still managed to find a certain desire to go and interact – something which I’ve never had the motivation to do before. Ever. Then the Rite of Initiation went by. Then I did an interview with Father Brian – something which every one of us has to go through before baptism. I remembered that clearly. Fr. was tired, or at least he looked tired that night and I remember arguing about the controversial issues of abortion and divorce. I wasn’t exactly in the mood to discuss these topics that day, but I realized a short description was written about each of us on a piece of paper by the sponsors and Fr. read it out. So I had no choice essentially. Lolx.
We had a baptism camp in church too. I think the camp was a good idea really. My favourite part was the adoration room really. It was the first time entering the adoration room where the Body of Christ is placed in the tabernacle for adoration. It is a room for reflection, mediation and reading of the words of God. I think that was the time when I really felt God’s presence. One thought just came through my mind over and over again. The same words just kept pounding into my head – “Just have a little faith.” It really was God speaking to me.
The problem I had throughout the RCIY journey was that I questioned a little too much. Personality plus a little training from the political science discipline really made me into a cynical person. I was skeptical about many things and many things I argued against.
It was at that moment I really felt I got the answer to all my questions. “Just have a little faith.” Sometimes you don’t really need to think too much. Just believe in God and his teachings and somehow things will fall into place.
Over the Chinese New Year period, I met up with my grandmother, who can’t see, hear and walk very well. She isn’t a Christian, though she was born with a beautiful Christian name – Mary. She isnt’t a Christian, yet she was happily telling me that someone came to pray for her. She seemed really proud and she kept telling me “Going to church is good. Believing in Jesus Christ is good. (in hokkien).” She doesn’t know much about God’s teachings or the Gospels or what the church stands for. She doesn’t know much, essentially, but the faith in Jesus Christ was strong. Blind faith? I don’t know, but sometimes I feel having blind faith in that sense may be a blessing. She could have such a strong faith without question, without doubt.
Anyway, the season of Lent was spent without much sacrifice on my part, other than the usual Friday abstinence and fasting on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. I guess the only other thing I did was read the bible more often, and prayed the rosary more intensely, especially the period nearing baptism. I did my own research too, learning more about the faith and customs, little by little.
I was pretty excited anticipating Holy Saturday which we would be baptized and the day finally arrived. Fr. Jo decided to do all the readings, hence the long long long Easter Vigil. Vows were made, water was poured, oils were anointed, candles were lighted, baptismal gowns were worn, and shouts of congratulations were thrown. I think this moment wouldn’t have been so perfect if not for my parents (who have been super supportive throughout the one year period), my godfather (who took time off to come for the scrutiny and baptism), his family (for being so understanding), the Fathers (for all the prayers and so on), my sponsor and the rest of the RCIY (for journeying with me throughout the year) and to all my family and friends who aren’t from the RCIY (who took the time off to come see me get baptized.) Thank you all. Yeah, I know. Trying to stay alert throughout a 3 hour long service is not easy. I know.
Okay, so now I’m baptized, I can’t say I’ll live a sinless life. Lolx, but I will try to make the effort to change myself, to glorify the Father in heaven.
Oh, Jeraldine might be going through her RCIA journey this year. I hope she does go through it with conviction and most of all, that she can experience God and the intercessions of Mother Mary, all the angels and saints, just as I had. Maybe next year, I can attend Easter Vigil in which she will be officially welcomed into the church.
This testimony is definitely inspired by God, okay, because its super late now (or should I say early in the morning?) and I'm dead tired from the hectic schedules of today. I am officially brain dead, and have no mental strength to write a testimony, much less one this long.
Alright I need to sleep now. =)
Good night.
